Wednesday, January 03, 2007

PIR Retirement Scenario #34

Los Angeles (AP)- In a stunningly brazen and never-before-attempted television stunt Bob Barker of The Price is Right has outwitted FCC regulations and has effectively thrown censorship out the window.

During the taping of his retirement show on July 7th, 2007, Barker's typical prizes of cars/RVs/bedroom sets were replaced with cartons of cigarettes/bottles of tequila/costumed prostitutes.

The censors were unable to stop the live broadcast for a full twenty-five minutes of the show, in which contestants bid and won three cartons of cigarettes, a threesome, several bottles of whiskey and a trip to Cuervo Nation for two.

Barker also had four bottles of scotch, a case of Crystal, another three cartons of cigarettes and several Cuban cigars to give away, these among some other unmentionable prizes for the showcase showdown.

Barker was unavailable for comment, but was seen leaving the studio with a bottle in each hand and an unknown female on his arm.

FCC spokesperson Mary Fuller stated "This kind of broadcasting is unacceptable, but taking into account his years of diligent service, we've decided to pardon Bob. How could we discipline Bob, I mean it's Bob?"

Others speculate that this was Bob's response to being sanctioned for his remarks on gender a few months back*.

Jason Kelts, who was in the audience at the time, said "That was awesome, it's like Bob was just all 'I do what I want Bitches' and the producers were all like 'Oh Bob' and then Bob just did what he wanted. Man, I wish I were Bob."


*please read PIR Archive, i.e. Best of... below, article titled PIR for the Ladies

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