Television vs. Everything (part II)

This is the final repost at this time, from here I'll do my best with updated updates,


It keeps getting better and better. Yesterday I got a parking ticket. The day before I strained my knee. And last night the unthinkable happened, my cable was turned off.

I knew it was going to happen from the first day I found that it worked, but it's still a bit of a shock. I came home last night and my only option was an Amy Sedaris interview on David Letterman about a movie I've already seen.

I woke up this morning thinking it was a dream, but no not a dream just static.

I thought for a moment it might have been something I said. I have been thinking of unplugging my cable, even told friends I planned to. But I was angry, last week I came home from work and TV had switched all the channels. I couldn't find the TV guide channel and I didn't know what to watch. Again, I was angry. I shouldn't have told friends I was going to unplug my cable, I was being rash.

Sure, maybe I went to far, told too many people or maybe you found out I was trying to slowly take you out of my life. It's true, I did watch Leonardo Di Caprio and Claire Danes while following along with Shakespeare last weekend.

I'll miss the good times. 'Jump Starting' my day with Shakira, Furtado and Beyoncé on VH1. Being late to social functions because of Templar Knights and The Majestic 12 on the History Channel. How am I going to be cultured when I can't watch White Men Can't Jump or Lethal Weapon II for the tenth time? I didn't see Clerks II yet, but I saw the special "making of" and I think I get the joke.

I'll get along without all that I'm sure. And I shouldn't be complaining. TV did allow the World Cup, I should be thankful. What I can't figure out is why. Why now, I know I came home a bit late and didn't call and didn't bring any milk home, but it's just TV it shouldn't need milk or company. It should be there when I need it.

I didn't even get to say goodbye, just a "Dear John" door hanger that said "If you feel we've disconnected your cable in error, our sincere apologies, please call..."

But I can't call, can't give in. No you didn't disconnect my cable in error, I was stealing. It was free and disconnection was justified. Down right cruel, but justified. Now TV is trying to prostitute itself to me. What are they going to say if I call? Are they going to ask me how many months I've been enjoying cable for free? I bet they'll just give me a price. "You want TV back fella? Yeah? Well, you're gonna have to pay for it."

So now I'm supposed to pay for something I used to get for free? Fuck that noise.

TV may have won before, but everything else seems to have trumped it. So if anyone wants to send me letters or something to keep me entertained I'll welcome them with open arms. I'll be reading a lot more again.

Unfortunately this does spell the end of the Price is Right blog. If I can't watch the show, I can't be witty/ semi-witty/ often-stupid anymore. I will continue the game until the end of course.

Someday I might reconcile with TV, but I've lived this long without it and I've learned a bit from our tryst. Thanks TV, see you in another life brother.